I Have My Doubts

In Mark 9:24, a father whose child has had seizures from birth asks Jesus to heal his child. When Jesus says, “Everything is possible for the person who believes,” the father replies, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.” The father’s response pretty much sums up where I find myself today given all that I’ve experienced and everything that I question. 

Do doubts bother me? Not at all. I like what Herman Hesse said: “Faith and doubt go hand in hand, they are complementaries. One who never doubts will never truly believe.” I especially like what Frederick Buechner said about doubts: “Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving.”

I Have My Doubts

I have my doubts but I still believe
Despite the losses that I grieve
Your love for me
Gives me the hope to see
How good our lives can be
When we live tenderly

So many questions that will have to wait
As we keep loving under all the hate
That threatens us
And makes it hard to trust
When every bully’s voice
Fills us with such disgust

Up against the powers that be
Presuming their own deity
Daily doses of hypocrisy
Masquerading as humility
Somehow I have to still believe
That the truth will still set us free.
Oh, my Lord! Help my unbelief

I miss the trusting child that I was
When I was fine with “Just because!”
Those days are gone
But I must carry on
Searching for ways to be strong
When there is so much wrong

Up against the powers that be
Presuming their own deity
Daily doses of hypocrisy
Masquerading as humility
Somehow I have to still believe
That the truth will still set us free.
Oh, my Lord! Help my unbelief

Help me to believe in you
When long, dark shadows dim my view of all that’s true

Up against the powers that be
Presuming their own deity
Daily doses of hypocrisy
Masquerading as humility
Somehow I have to still believe
That the truth will still set us free.
Oh, my Lord! Oh, my Lord!
Oh, my Lord! Help my unbelief

© Peter Slofstra • 2020 • Orillia, Ontario